After Monday night's excitement with the supposed ghost, it took a couple of nights for me to be able to sleep soundly. I found myself pretty "on-edge," but I decided that was no way to live, so I forced myself to gird up and get stronger. Aaaaand then the earthquakes hit. The first time I really felt one was Friday night and I remember being very groggy as my bed shook me awake. In my haze, I thought it was the Halloween ghost and very annoyed, I woke up saying, "Please stop." It cracks me up that I was whining to the ghost instead of being scared, and that I was actually relieved to find that it as an earthquake instead. There has to be something wrong with that whole scenario. Haha!
After Saturday's bigger earthquake (5.6), I had a hard time because I'm here all by myself and the stereotypical, single female fear set in. If the house came down, would neighborhood dogs find me in the rubble before a person would? I know everybody would have their own families and stuff to take care of so I don't expect to be at the top of anyone's list of priorities. Tonight we've had some crazy, tornadic weather in the state, so the challenges to stay calm haven't really subsided. Add in my thesis proposal looming over my head and there's a recipe for stress, fear and eating a lot of leftover Halloween candy. So what have I done to combat all of this fear?
Well, the very best I've been able to do is to keep my calm. I've worked so hard on being confident and strong over the past year and it's a good thing too. I've tried to punch fear in the face and felt like I was making great strides, but I realized this past week that fear stepped up it's game. So I'm going to do the same. I'm going to have to realize, AGAIN, that we only have this moment that we're in. We can plan and make preparations for the future, but the only thing we're guaranteed is this moment. Who knows how much time we each have? So if some huge natural disaster happens and I'm alone, I'll just have to trust that I'll be a super badass and pull myself out of the wreckage...or that some strong, gorgeous man will come along and pull me out. Lol.
And in the meantime, I'm just going to keep reading and working on my thesis. Progress in that project always makes me feel better.