612 Stories: Wakarusa 2011!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Wakarusa 2011!

Last Night Family Portrait - Almost the Whole Gang from Our Campsite in Ross' Glow Creations!

Last week I returned from one incredibly fun experience. Wakarusa was such a great get away! I haven't been writing much recently because after the stress of finals and the PAF, I wanted to keep to myself a little. I wanted to retreat from feeling like my life was on display and to keep technology at bay. When I arrived, I had a little juice left in my phone but when it was gone, it was gone. I didn't have a power source to plug into. We were camping! Wooohooo! I also didn't have much service when I got to the campsite anyway, so it was the perfect time to do what I said I would. I unplugged.

I had so much fun! My favorite shows were Thievery Corporation and Big Gigantic. The music was great and I danced and danced the night away. In fact, I didn't get back to my tent until 6am that last night we were there. I felt free from the worries that I left behind. For so long I've been controlled by the feeling that I'm constantly being judged. I've worried about the comments from others regarding not moving fast enough with the 612 project (I'm moving as fast as I can), not focusing enough on school, not taking good enough care of myself (someone pointed out that I wasn't as thin as I was when I was doing boot camp), not being a good enough friend to some (constantly hearing that I'm too busy), feeling like some friends are doing me a favor by spending time with me (probably not going to spend as much time with those people now), or not spending enough time with my family (mostly hearing that I'm too busy from my Paw-Paw.) Even with all of the hard work, I've felt like a huge failure.

What I've realized is that I've really done it to myself by taking all the comments to heart and by judging myself so harshly. From now on, those days are gone. I'm not doing it anymore. There will always be more to do. In fact, my goals are to finish school and then to set off on an even more intense study of educational methods relating to creativity and sustainability. I want to do this right! James and I are learning so much with every step and if we aren't patient with ourselves, how will we ever be patient with our students? And isn't that the point of all of this? Don't we want to create a place where people can learn and grow without the same fears they had to face while getting their education in the traditional school? We want to offer something different, a place where people feel safe from judgement and encouraged to thrive. For so long we've been held back by the fear of not getting a good grade or by a fear of not being the smartest person in the room. I don't want that for anyone! I want people to realize their passions and dreams. Fear has no place in that.

So when I went to Waka, I decided that I would be as open with the people around me as I could, that I would leave the fear at home and that I would try to make a change right then and there in my life. I need to love myself as freely as I do my friends and family. I need to be gentle with myself and nurture my own growth as much as I do in others.

I needed this get away so badly. I was lucky to be with the kindest, most fun people at our campsite. I didn't talk about work or school with any of them unless they asked. I basically focused on being in the moment and enjoyed living in a more minimalistic way. I had everything I needed right there at that camp site and I was more than spoiled by their hilarious ways and the awesome music.

And somehow, now that I'm back, all I want to do is focus on ways to make the future better. Thank God for vacations! I'm a lucky gal!

Now for some pictures!!!