Today has been crazy. I'm on that emotional roller coaster again and it's something that I'm not proud of, but I'm sharing it because there was a light in my day today. I sat in my office and cried this morning because it's exactly two weeks from today that I will leave the Museum. As the day gets closer, my fear, anxiety and sadness grows. I am fighting something that will ultimately be really great for me. Why do I do this to myself? I can't seem to help it.
But one of the things that I loved about today is the fact that Chandra and I got to observe an afternoon of conference sessions with the Oklahoma A+ Schools. I've talked about them before and how much I admire them, but today took it to a whole new level. Watching the facilitators give new tools to teachers was awesome, but the best part was sitting in the classroom, watching people learn. I had forgotten exactly how much I love to be a part of that. We were just observers today, but I did get to create something in one of the sessions and I definitely took away some great lesson plan ideas for integrating art with writing and literacy. It took about two seconds for me to remember why I was doing what I am getting ready to do. Even the smell of the school where it was held brought back memories of being at Lakeview. I miss teaching.
So I was feeling much better after we left the conference and went back to the Museum...and then I backed into someone in a parking lot tonight. I thought it might have been the culmination of all of my negativity and a big wake up call to turn my attitude around. So I'm going to give it another shot tomorrow.
I hate fear and what it can do to you. I'm going to have to dig deep to find the strength I need to fight it, but I'll find it. I know I can do this!